THE UPS AND DOWNS

Just wanted to give you a update on whats been going on since my last post.
My visit down to London was a whirlwind visit. Up at 05.30 flight at 07.05 , Gatwick express to Victoria. Victoria line tube to Oxford Circus. Around 1 mile walk to the clinic. Now for the reason I was here. The clinic had changed slightly since I was there last. The room they now use as a waiting room was the room I was assessed in before. I was heading up the stairs to the waiting room(what a difference to be able to walk up them stairs as last time I was sweating hopping up them on crutches) all these memories from last visit came rushing back. I was sat in the same room but everything had changed. The room now had several posh looking sofas in and some beautiful artwork on the walls and some other nice little touches but when I glanced to the corner of the room where there was a bed before there was an empty space. I could physically feel myself tingle at the thought of how I felt last time I was there on a bed getting assessed. I replayed the moment and the feelings all again in my mind and it seemed so surreal. The last time I entered this room there was a chance my career could have been over or at least that was a thought after the first scan results and now here I am walking fine into that same room anxious in a very different way. This time was all about how far I've progressed and to see what the next step of 'THEFIGHTBACK' entailed. A very different experience of emotions I tell you.

The diagram on the left shows how you ruputure your ACL. This occurs when your Tibia and Femur bones twist in opposite directions. The diagram on the right shows the other structures in your knee. I ruptured my ACL,MCL also tore my LCL. Slight strain on my PCL and the blue pad like structures are your meniscus (cartilage) I also had a tear in my lateral side.

We had been waiting around 20 minutes as me and the physio Fiona got there early as I hate being late. Even if I arrive somewhere 5 minutes before I feel like I have cut it too fine. Its a little pet hate of mine being late. The Mrs goes mad at me because I'm always rushing her out of the house if we have to be anywhere. Next thing this face pops around the corner and its Mr Andy Williams with a big broad smile on his face. I literally jump out of my chair and walk over and shake his hand.What a guy! I'm so happy to see him and just want to thank him for what he has done. We enter his room and its assessment time. He looks at my knee which is a little bit more swollen than usual because of the travelling etc. He goes through some movements and some other tests and looks really pleased. We chat about different things and about some little niggles I have been feeling and basically thats it. He says how good it looks and hes delighted with how its going so far and also advises me on what to do next but the biggest thing I have took away from the meeting was his last little warning.
 "Please listen to your knee. Yes you need to bulk it up and now try to add some more muscle to your thigh but please listen to your knee and do everything sensibly. I don't want to be saying I need to operate on you again next time I see you because you have gone too crazy in trying to push it too hard".......These words are still ringing in my ears now.

So as you can imagine I left the clinic buzzing as I had some good news regarding my progress. I had thanked the man who in my eyes has saved my career and also had a huge weight lifted from my shoulders in the sense of I know what I have been doing has been right for my knee. I walked the mile and a bit back to the tube station in what seemed like 10 seconds I was flying. Literally buzzing I felt unbelievable and this was only my first check up the next biggy is in 6 weeks time.
Two words to describe our trip down to London would be great and efficient. It was like clockwork with all the travel arrangemnts and we got back up to Inverness at around 16.30 not a bad day at all.

So theres the UP part. The DOWN parts are hard to explain. I wouldn't say I ever really get too down or too upset about things its not my character. I am a positive/optimistic/sometimes pessimistic person but the last 48 hours have been of the more down side. I came away from London absolutely delighted but this thing has a way of bringing you crashing right back to earth again. I'm learning that one quiclkly. I had permission to extend the exercises a bit and push my knee a little further. Nothing crazy yet as I am just over 6 weeks post op but increase the range of movement in my squats etc. I was in with the physios the next day after arriving back from London. The knee was feeling fine but a little stiff from all the travelling. We decided not to do too much in the way of new exercises keep it pretty much the same but increase the range a little so I went through my usual routine and went on the exercise bike as usual. That night when resting at the house my knee was feeling different. Not sore just slightly different somehow. Sounds strange right? but believe me these feelings are the norm at this stage. So up the next day through my usual exercises and still that strange feeling is there. Not pain but strange. Onto the bike and 10 minutes in this feeling has now turned to a pain...ALARM BELLS!!! Pain is a sign. My knee is not happy. Bang I'm off the bike and the physio just tells me theres no rush and we have to be safe and he is right. So off i went to attack the pool as I was angry for some reason. I went at it in the pool. I could hardly walk from the pool to the changing rooms because I had swam so hard. As I was swimming my mind was racing, thinking shit I hope this is only a day or so until i can batter on with my exercises, is it something serious? Another day has passed and I am still getting the little pain its not much but its not right so we have decided to rest it up over the weekend and start again monday. This has been the most annoying thing with the rehab. These mini setbacks. Nothing major but never the less a pain in the arse. People have been telling me that the rehab bit is the hard part of an injury like this. They say this is the hard work and this is the hardest part building yourself back up again. I can honestly say this is the easy part for me. I love the feeling of exercising again and having that challenge of building myself up. I thrive on the hard work so I'm lucky in that way. These mini setbacks are testing mentally though at the minute as I just want to get on with the rehab and these days where I have to come off it because it is sore feel like wasted days in a way. Not in the way of resting the knee because i know thats whats needed and it has to be done I'm not stupid but I guess I have a typical sportsman mentality of 'When when when. When can I do this? When can I do that?"

Anyway I am already looking forward to next week now so I can start building again. Everyday is vital and these rest days are just as vital as my working days. PMA is what its all about.


The Long and Winding Road continues

Have a good weekend x