PERSPECTIVE

I've took a little sabbatical from the blog lately. I just wanted to see wether I still had the urge to document things and wether I still needed it as things have been going very well in my rehab. Firstly, the answer is yes I do need it as I realise that I actually enjoy writing which for a boy from Middlesbrough who only really ever went to school for the banter and sports is quite something. I've come to realise that its a good avenue for myself to explore as you find things out about yourself. You realise that its good to get things down from your mind, it gives you a release mentally. Also, recently I have had people say things like "Why haven't you done your blog lately? Ive really enjoyed reading it" and I also had someone say to me "Please update your blog as a friend of mine has been drawing strength from it who is also going through a hard time". Things like the last one just blow my mind and I really appreciate the support Ive had through this.

This update basically is all about the word PERSPECTIVE. This is something that I know most of us in the sporting world lose track of sometimes. We live in a 'Sports Bubble'. This is when you think the world revolves around your chosen game which in my case is football. I have come straight from school into this football bubble and Ive been lucky enough to keep in this so called bubble for 10 years now. This Bubble consists of my world revolving around my game. Eat Sleep Train Play football. Everyday is all about preparing for a Saturday. Nothing else matters. When you win a game your personal high is unbelievable your on cloud 9. When you lose a game your in the depths of despair and the next few days are miserable. Anyway this bubble has been evaporated for me in recent times and I think this is partly me getting older but also recent events that have took place in the last few weeks have made me realise theres more important things in life than a game. As you get older the meaning of the game doesn't fade and your intensity doesn't but I think an awareness grows of its not the end of the world if you play badly or lose a game its all about how you respond to those circumstances.

You are all most certainly aware of what has happened recently to Fabrice Muamba. If you are not aware Fabrice is a 23 year old footballer who suffered a cardiac arrest on the pitch whilst playing for his club Bolton. This shook the football world and also the world in general. Fabrice received CPR on the pitch in front of 40 odd thousand people, his team mates and a watching TV audience of millions and was effectively dead for over an hour as paramedics battled to save his life. Miraculously Fabrice survived and is currently recovering in hospital in intensive care. I was actually watching the game on TV as it was all happening and I felt physically sick watching. I don't know if everyone felt like me but I almost felt it was a close friend of mine going through it. I could feel myself saying at the TV "Come on mate come on, please be ok". Now I don't know him personally but I have played against him and it affected me. I spent the rest of the night glued to the TV watching news channels and checking twitter for updates. Everybody started asking the question "How could that happen to a sportsman at an elite level?". It's a scary question.
Bringing it all back now to PERSPECTIVE. I thought my knee injury was the end of my world. At first my career could have been over. The next thing was 'Hoggy it's going to be 12 months' then after the operation it was 'Hoggy 6-9 months'. Now, as my rehab is going along I cant believe the progress I have made. My knee is getting stronger and stronger day by day. I still have to take some rest days as it gets sore with some of the progressions but on a scale of 1-10 im seriously feeling 10. My muscle bulk is starting to come back and I'm working harder than ever to get back asap.(without rushing of course). I will hopefully be jogging in a couple of weeks and using the summer break to build myself up and come back stronger than ever. This has been a big test for me this injury and at the start plunged me into a place where I'd never been. Facing upto the prospect of finishing football. I know I am basically going to have to start from scratch and prove my fitness and form when I get back playing but I seriously cant wait to prove any doubters wrong and get back to playing at the level I know I can.
Flip all that around and imagine going through what Fabrice and his family have been through and are still going through. WOW! Now thats a real test and for me puts my injury and the whole football bubble into perspective. At the end of the day its just a game and we all get carried away with it. When it comes down to it though there is nothing more important than life itself. In my opinion the health of my family and friends comes above all else. Yes I love the game and its been my life from a young age but anything I have done in my career is insignificant compared to the experiences and bonds I have with my family and friends.
Also I just want to relay another event which put everything into perspective for me lately. This years Scottish League Cup Final. I have been lucky enough to win this trophy with Hibs in 2007 and I know the delights of winning it and all the emotions everyone feels with such a victory. It's a day that will live with me forever. This years final was deservedly won by Kilmarnock FC. However their glory soon turned to despair at the news of one of their players Liam Kelly's Dad suffering a heart attack at the final whistle. It's not really my place to write about it but my heart goes out to Liam and again I don't know him personally but I felt an empathy with him. Its something that breaks your heart to hear about. My thoughts are strongly with Liam and his family after such sad news.

So, just to finish I would just like to say that these events that have happened recently has seriously given me and I suppose the whole Football world some PERSPECTIVE on everything. Yes my injury was a serious one and I know its a long road back but in terms of what other people are going through it is miniscule. This is my own personal battle in which I will win. Football is a game and we lose touch on that sometimes. In reality Life is what its all about. Work hard. Chase your dreams. Never give up and seize any opportunity that comes your way to better yourself. Most of all enjoy it.


"I FALL. I RISE. I MAKE MISTAKES. I LIVE. I LEARN. I'VE BEEN HURT BUT I'M ALIVE. I'M HUMAN. I'M NOT PERFECT BUT I'M THANKFUL" 






Thefightback@hotmail.co.uk